"Mr. Brightside" and Epilepsy: When Life Throws Seizures, Not Confetti

It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?

These iconic lyrics from The Killers' "Mr. Brightside" perfectly capture the disorienting and often devastating experience of living with epilepsy. Just like a whirlwind romance can turn sour, a seemingly normal life can be disrupted by the unpredictable nature of seizures. One minute you're feeling fine, the next you're caught in a storm of neurological activity.

Epilepsy affects millions worldwide. While the exact cause is unknown for many (including me), it's often associated with genetic factors, brain injuries, or other underlying medical conditions. Like the jealous lover in "Mr. Brightside," epilepsy can be an uninvited guest, crashing into your life and turning moments of joy into confusion and fear. For me, a die-hard Buffalo Bills fan, this was especially tough.

Imagine the roar of the crowd, the electric atmosphere of Highmark Stadium, the thrill of a crucial play, and all 70,000 singing “Mr. Brightside” to start the 4th quarter. These were all things I had to miss out on because of my epilepsy. It constantly reminded me of what I was missing, a "bright side" I couldn't always access.

Now I'm falling asleep, and she's calling a cab. While he's having a smoke, and she's taking a drag.

This verse evokes the feeling of isolation and helplessness that many people with epilepsy experience. Seizures can strike at any time, leaving individuals feeling vulnerable and dependent. The fear of having a seizure in public can lead to social isolation and anxiety. Like the protagonist in the song, those living with epilepsy may feel like they're on the outside looking in, watching life go by while they struggle to manage their condition. For me, that "outside looking in" feeling was amplified by missing Bills games due to more intense seizures. It wasn't just the game itself, it was the camaraderie, the shared experience with other fans – a piece of my life that epilepsy kept taking away.

It's killing me, and taking control.

Epilepsy can be a challenging condition to live with. The seizures themselves can be physically and emotionally draining. The side effects of medication, the uncertainty of when the next seizure might occur, and the impact on daily life can take a toll. Just as the lyrics express the pain of a broken heart, living with epilepsy can be heartbreaking at times. It can feel like the condition is taking control, dictating your activities, and limiting your opportunities. Like missing out on Bills games.

Jealousy, turning saints into the sea.

"Mr. Brightside" is a song about jealousy and obsession. While epilepsy isn't caused by these emotions, the song's themes of frustration and loss of control can resonate with those living with the disorder. The unpredictability of seizures can lead to feelings of frustration and anger. It can be easy to feel jealous of those who don't have to live with the challenges of epilepsy. I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a pang of jealousy watching friends and family head to the stadium while I stayed home. Thank you to my wonderful mom for staying back with me and making the most out of every game this year!

If you or someone you know is living with epilepsy, remember that you are not alone. There are many resources available to provide support and information. Talk to your doctor, connect with support groups, and educate yourself about epilepsy. With the right tools and support system, you can learn to live well with epilepsy and find your own path to a brighter future. And who knows, maybe one day I'll be back in that stadium, cheering on the Bills with everyone else for that Super Bowl.